Boys Will Be Boys Weekend

Boys Will Be Boys Hotels

Just think. For two whole nights, there's going to be no-one around to nag you for leaving dirty pants on the bedroom floor. But that's just one of many luxuries awaiting you at London's top hotels.

On Buckingham Palace Road, 41 is a five-star joint overlooking Buck House. All its rooms are decorated in black and white (very manly, huh?) and boast state-of-the-art interactive TV/IT technology. It has a pool, a gym and a club lounge with board games, and you can even get an in-house shave or a massage in your room just by picking up the phone.

The Royal Garden was an official hotel for the 1966 World Cup, and remains popular with sports stars today - even sumo wrestlers, apparently! It also boasts its very own casino.

Friday Night

Meat and greet

Splash on your Brut and head for the Gaucho Grill, which specialises in red meat – and in portions the size of Argentina. If John Wayne were alive today, it'd be his favourite restaurant.

Albannach, just down the road in Trafalgar Square, is a perfect choice if you like whisky. There are around 100 to choose from. And there's nothing "tattie" about the Caledonian menu, either. From here, head to Stringfellows or Spearmint Rhino table-dancing clubs for some upmarket adult entertainment.

Saturday Morning

Easy, Tiger!

If the sun's shining, you can get a great view of London's most elegant structures (and the buildings, too!) by taking a cycle ride along the Thames. Hire a bike from the London Bicycle Tour Company and roam free. Otherwise, try your luck on simulations of over 50 of the world's most famous courses at Urban Golf, the largest indoor golf facility in the UK.

Saturday Afternoon

Shoot 'em up!

Eat pizzas and steaks under the bling-tastic glitterballs of Frankie's Italian Bar and Grill, co-owned by Marco Pierre White and Frankie Dettori. Do a Rambo on your mates at the Paintball Centre, a 40,000 sq ft warzone with bunkers, barricades, forts and foxholes. Then wind down with a game of pool and a pint of real ale at the 19th century White Swan on Alie Street.

Saturday Night

The spice of life

Start the evening off with a posh "Ruby" (that's cockney rhyming slang for curry – Ruby Murray – geddit?) at Michelin-starred Tamarind. Or try the Cinnamon Club, which serves delights such as tandoori swordfish and galouti kebab.

Heckle the jesters at the Comedy Store, which has hosted the likes of Jack Dee and Lee Evans. Then go from quips to chips, by blowing some dough at Golden Nugget Casino on Shaftesbury Avenue or the Hard Rock Casino where the tables and bars are open until 4am.

Sunday Morning

Button it!

After a good Stephen (Stephen Fry – fry-up. OK, we made that one up), spend the morning doing a Jensen Button at speeds of up to 50mph at Revolution Karting. Then enjoy a roast dinner at the Shepherd's Tavern on Hertford Street, an 18th century townhouse once frequented by WWII pilots. Or try Antony Worrall Thompson's Notting Grill, which claims to offer meat that's "well bred, well fed and well hung"!

Sunday Afternoon

Good sports

How you spend your last afternoon depends on how much energy you have left! If you've still got some, take a stadium tour (or even catch a Sunday match) at Chelsea Football Club, Arsenal FC, Twickenham Stadium or Lord's. If you haven't, relax in front of some televised sporting action in one of five bars at the Sports Café.

For more ideas see Stag Weekends in London: Top 10 Ideas