The Cumberland

The bars and reception area of this place are just stunning and the hotel is in an excellent location.

Perhaps I was in a cheaper room, but the room was cramped and badly laid out. However, it was possibly the most comfortable hotel bed I've ever stayed in (and I travel a lot!).

The service on reception and at breakfast was poor. They just didn't seem to be geared up to the volume of customers they had.

The first impressions are spectacular, but I was just disappointed after that.

This hotel has a phenomenal location – you can almost touch Marble Arch as you come out of the front door. Reception is vast – which is probably just as well as you need a lot to look at while you wait to check in. There is some really impressive sculpture to look at – which is just as well, because you are still waiting. We were second in the queue and still waited 15 minutes to get to the front. The queue behind us was long – and grumpy.

Sadly, although the reception is impressive and interesting – everything above the ground floor is neither. Coridoors are tired and smell rather dubious. However, the room was ok, nothing special but tolerable – probably not quite what you would want for the price.

Anyway – the cocktails. We headed to the beautiful bar filled with beautiful people and looked at the, rather short, cocktail menu . Fortunately, we both picked the same thing. Upon ordering the bartenders looked twitchy and were clearly asking each other if there was a recipe to be had. They gave up looking and starting making – and got to the point where they had mixed up some lumps of fruit with some spirits and were about to add a mixer. That’s all well and good except that we appeared to have two cocktails that were completely different – different colours, different sizes, different everything – and we had completely lost confidence. Suffice to say that the manager didn’t understand, didn’t like us and wasn’t sympathetic or interested. Eventually he tipped the cocktails away rather dramatically and we switched to a bubbly which we thought was a safe option.

So, don’t drink there, don’t expect glamour once you are past the reception (which will take you a while) – but revel in the location.

Check out [--]

Whilst no doubt a great location, the room we had was pokey, dimly lit and the bathroom badly designed. The room wasn't even serviced until I had called, which is not acceptable at 3pm after a long day out. Shower in bathroom let more water out on floor, and the sink unit was so badly designed there was water everywhere. I also had doubts about cleanliness.