Smart Hyde Park Inn

First off, we weren't expecting the world, it was somewhere cheap to stay the night whilst out with friends, basically somewhere to sleep after a day out in London. Our stay quickly became a bad joke none of us will ever forget. We booked our own 8 person dorm and due to a few drop outs we only had 5 to the room. We stayed for one night.

Lets get the few positives out the way first, The staff were very friendly, and checked us in very quickly with a smile, secondly the location of the hostel is fantastic, Hyde park is seconds away. That’s all folks!!!!! It’s all downhill from here.

When you stay somewhere you at least expect it to be clean if nothing else, this was nothing like clean. We will start with the decoration, reception looked promising, wide screen TV, red and black walls and counters, it looks good, and it isn’t continued throughout the rest of the hostel.

We stayed in room 82; the room is long and very very narrow. The walls were snot green and were covered in all manner of bodily fluids, from what looked like blood to faeces, it was all there. The one window just about opened enough to get rid of the smell of rotting food and what can only be described as strong cheese and drains.

The curtains which surrounded this window were filthy! We had to find something to poke them shut at night, because none of us wanted to risk catching something from the blood, stains, makeup and suspicious white marks which covered them.

The lino on the floor is burned and coming up and generally not fit for purpose. The linen provided was suspect at best; the only part any of us were willing to touch was the medical grade bed sheets which were on the whole stain free. Out of the 8 pillows, 4 were usable, the rest were covered in yellow stains, and one smelled of urine, the rest sweat. They were wafer thin. The duvets again were stained and were left unused.

Then there was the furniture, the bunk beds were tiny only suitable for those under 5ft 6. The taller members of our party had to endure collisions and entanglement through the night. We only had one member in the top bunk; the smallest member of the group, anyone else would fall through, because the bunks were barley usable. Rust, lose screws, broken safety rails the works. The lockers were falling apart with shelves missing. The basin was cracked; there was a sink plug cord but no actual plug.

When it came to sleeping we all agreed, worst night sleep ever, everyone found it difficult to sleep in the cramped conditions, waking up numerous times. Then there was the fire alarm blast at 3 am, which after our own personal check we realised was just a fault. To get any form of ventilation we had to keep the window open, which exposed us to the road noise outside.

Morning could not come soon enough.

3 of us braved the showers (these link directly onto another room, (room 80 we feel for you)) they were poor. They didn’t work, there was nowhere to hang your towel and the doors were broken. The toilet was fine, and about the only thing which was clean.

We have now set a minimum standard for staying out; this hostel was our motivation, which says it all.

not very nice, its almost a hostel.

someone should make sure only hotels use the word hotel, hostels should be called such.

not an experience to be repeated ever!

Stayed in an 18-bed dorm for one night here. The location is excellent, right near some stations, with a Tesco nearby and pretty cheap Internet cafes.

The room itself was a bit like a prison cell - tiny, cramped, dim light, and the bunks were stacked three high (instead of the usual two), which made for quite a climb up and down! The sink in the room was quite dirty too.

The common room was tiny, as was the kitchen. I skipped the free breakfast in the morning because it was overwhelmingly crowded. Bathrooms quite tiny and dirty as well.

The people at the front desk were great, however - knew the area very well, helpful and very attentive.

This place is fine if you just need somewhere for the night, but if you're wanting to settle and get comfortable for a few days, here's not the best place.